Archive for November, 2011


The Only Connection

November 1, 2011

Before the Drama

As I go into November, I’m reminded of how I don’t have the one connection with my parents. That connection is food. That’s all I had after my grandmother’s death (God bless her soul). In addition to that, Food was the only connection I had to my Hispanic identity. I grew up with Black people and went to school with them. I was one of them. Most of my friends were Black. I just dated Black women. It wasn’t until I started working where I work at now that I gained a sense of who I was. But, I did discovered that Blacks and Hispanics aren’t that much different. Poverty knows no color.

Starting from junior high school, I was on my own. My parents weren’t invested in my education or doings. They were too busy worrying about their beer supply. They were too busy arguing and taking those arguments to another level. It takes more than food and housing to be a parent. But yet, the food always warmed my heart.

With the food I was fed, I felt that love I craved from my parents but never got. My parents couldn’t give me anything of material worth, but the food was enough. The food could have replaced the emptiness that I was feeling if my parents weren’t arguing and taking things to another level. I still remember the taste of my favorite dishes such as hamburgers and pork shoulder. There sure wasn’t anyone who could hold up to my mother’s cooking.

When I moved out, my mom would always lure me back to her home to eat. Food was rebuilding my relationship with my parents. But I don’t have that anymore. I don’t have the special birthday dinner which was the dish of my choosing. I always looked forward to Thanksgiving. But I don’t have that anymore. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a home to go to for the holidays, not even a girlfriend’s house. This saddens me.

But I digress. The person I know who is going to have a hard time this holiday season is my little sister. I’m going to try my best to make it special for her. She’s all I got. I ask you all to pray for her. I hope you all see this and hold your loved ones tight. Be grateful for them. Thank God for them because some aren’t as lucky. Have a great holiday season, brothers and sisters. Stay strong. Keep it pushing. Peace be on to you. God bless!